It’s normal to talk to your self
Just about to deliver a speech in front of a large audience. Sitting waiting to be interviewed for that job you desperately desire. Making a budget proposal which if successful will secure the immediate future. Ensuring nerves don’t undermine your performance by giving yourself a confidence boosting good talking to.
It’s a recognised performance enhancing technique amongst top level sports competitors. That voice inside our head can be really helpful in any stressful situation. Practising positive self support can be very helpful in increasing self confidence and curbing negative thoughts and self defeating behaviour. There is considerable evidence that positive thinking helps with stress management and mental well-being.
Communicating with our self comes naturally we don’t need to be taught it and we all do it. The trick is to make it a positive voice not a negative or critical commentary. Self talk helps us with reasoning , problem solving, planning and motivation. Self talk is triggered by problem situations. You can learn to challenge negative self talk and improve positive self talk.
As an experienced mentor and recruiter I have noticed that some people have a negative over critical inner voice. Because of this they won’t even apply for posts that their skills and experience means they are well equipped to do. On one occasion someone who would have been a strong candidate for a senior post told me they were put off by the salary on offer. Not that it wasn’t enough but that it was too high .”if they’re offering that much money they would expect too much.” On an other occasion a candidate who performed well in the assessment centre tests and exercises withdrew before the formal interview. When I followed this up they said they had,”talked themselves out of it over the weekend.” Such individuals are prone to being too hard on they selves, their own harshest critic. With help they can learn to challenge this over critical inner voice and replace it with a positive voice. One that says “no one expects you to know everything on day one of a new post “ and reminds them how good they are at acquiring new knowledge and skills quickly. A voice that tells them they are worth it.
Blair McPherson former Director author and blogger www.blairmcpherson.co.uk
