The lesser hairy white Ape

During the hot summer months the lesser hairy white ape heads for the coast. Shedding their outer clothes apes can be found in large groups on sandy beaches. In recent years observers have noted apes have appeared in very large numbers along the Spanish coast. There is a significant population migration from the cooler Northern European areas to the warmer southern European coastal areas throughout the months of July and August. There are several unique features about this particular ape's behaviour at this time of year. The ape typically spends only two weeks on the beach before returning to cooler climates during which time its skin colour changes from white to brown although some literally burn under the intense sun and go what must be a painful throbbing red. Experts in apeology have suggested that the desire for darker skin is to be more attractive to the opposite sex however this would imply that the brown and black ape would be more desirable mates and there is no evidence of this. Others have suggested that it is a way of improving status within the group again this would imply that apes with naturally darker skin would enjoy higher status and this does not appear to be generally the case although recently there have been some notable exceptions. 

Despite a marked lack of activity during this period the apes appear to eat and drink copious amounts. Some experts have pointed out that frequently females lose weight in the period prior to migration and so are simply restoring it. However the male does not follow this behaviour. The eating patterns of females are erratic throughout the year and as yet no satisfactory explanation has been provided. 

Large groups of adolescent males and females breakaway from the main heard and out of sight of the older males drink fermented fruit, sing loudly, move erratically, become disorientated and can injure themselves. Exhausted they stager back to their nocturnal resting places to emerge at mid day where apron they bath in the sun before repeating the ritual. Observers believe this behaviour is preparation adult hood and have long recognised that the lesser hairy ape is unique amongst mammals in having this “adjustment” period between cared for young and fully independent adult.  
Whilst this ape has been extensively observed and studied experts struggle to provide plausible explanations for itself destructive behaviour and high levels of aggression towards other apes. It is never the less assumed to be intelligent because of its sophisticated use of tools. In countering this assumption others have pointed out that this is a very narrow definition of intelligence.

Blair McPherson

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