How to get a head without losing your head.
In the turbulent and changing world of the Tudors soft skills were the key to prosperity, power, influence and self preservation. Thomas Sackville member of Parliament and Lord High Treasure during the Tudor period summed it up as ,” Knowing the right thing to say to the right person at the right time “ .
This is how you got things done, were successful , enriched yourself and family and kept your head. Is this equally true in organisations today?
“ Who you know rather than what you know” is used to express the often bitter belief that some one has been promoted unfairly not on ability but on their connections and networks, their influential friends . But knowledge, ability and experience have never been enough with out people skills including the ability to develop and maintain networks of useful contacts. These soft skills are even more relevant in agile organisations where specific knowledge, skills and experience can quickly become redundant and irrelevant. Transferable skills are the requirement and these include the soft skills.
Soft skills can also be thought of as people skills. These can include good communication and interpersonal skills, leadership , problem solving, work ethic, time management and teamwork. These are characteristics that can be carried over to any position.
The more senior the post the more important networks and contacts become but knowing the right people is not enough, this must be accompanied by words or phrases that are most appropriate for the situation. Whether that is a supportive statement or a humorous remark depends not only on reading the situation but knowing the individual and being able to demonstrate empathy.
We have all experienced the excruciating experience of witnessing some one get it wrong by making an ill timed and inappropriate joke or remark. But soft skills like any skill can be taught and improved. Mentoring and coaching are often provided by organisations to managers who have got where they are through the excellence of their technical knowledge and specialist skills but need to improve their soft skills, like people management if they are to be effective and progress their career.
A good example is executive coach where a manager is observed by a coach in a variety of work situations and then is given detailed feedback. The aim is to help the individual understand how their behaviour impacts on those they work with. For example the coach may observe that the manager tends to close down discussions rather than opening them up, thus discouraging colleagues and those they manage from contributing ideas or raising concerns. Armed with insights the individual can be helped by the coach to change behaviour and improve their interpersonal skills.
Knowing the right thing to say to the right person at the right time demonstrates empathy, thoughtfulness, and a deep understanding of human behavior. It can lead to stronger relationships, improved communication, and a greater sense of connection and understanding.
It’s how influential people get things done and get on in the world.
Blair McPherson former director author and blogger www.blairmcpherson.co.uk
